Music

Disco inferno, is by 50cents

ahh i finally saw it on my radio.. sounds odd, doesn't it? I must admit I love my car radio!! i love hearing a new song or an old song, and seeing the name and artist displayed. nothing better than driving down the road, be boppin' along the way. :P

another great song i heard yesterday, was

you and me by life house

* lyric clip*

.... There's something about you now,
that I can't quite figure out.
Everything she does is beautiful,
And everything she does is right.

'Cause it's you and me,
and all other people with nothing to do, nothing to lose.
And it's you and me,and all other people.
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you. ....


hear it here : http://launch.yahoo.com/ar-254942---Lifehouse

Random Thoughts for today

I hate bikers that don't follow the rules of the road, like they should. i watched an older women almost get hit by car, just because she crossed right in front someone. she was turning and they were going streight.

That same day i saw another almost accident, because of some idiot. this time a driver. you all know when you hear serins, you pull over or least look for the police, fire, emc. well the whole line of cars moves over becouse an abulance is going through with serins, horns, lights, you name it. personally i could go all the way to the curb, the guy behind me was in behind the intersection, so he was close to parked cars .. there was a person somewhere behind him, that decided as soon as the ambulance passed, they needed to go.. and pull out and go they did, not waiting to see if anyone behind him, or in front of him was going to go back in traffic. so he cut off the car behind me and almost hit him.
i saw him pulling out first and by golly i was going to slow him down. :) im an evil driver.

*********************
sometimes things just happen, feelings evolve, where you think they shouldn't, but no sense dening yourself from truth, just try not to hurt ppl along the way. but sometimes it just can't be helped. no matter what you do it will hurt someone. so just do it and get over with and let the healing begin.

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gosh i've been slow on the new songs i like ..
but i love "untitled" by simple plan
and "switch" by will smith
and "disco inferno" by ??

volunteering

the good thing about volunteering , is the wonderful feeling you walk away with. the bad thing about it is the sore back and muscles.

Breaking up

So why is it breaking up on line is so tough?

Is it because you get so close? because you are used to spending all that free time together? is it because your addicted to sex, and need it? rofl sorry, thats not me, but i had to say it anyways. Or is it all ego and pride? Or rather, is it all these things and more combined?

If you read there4all this week, you see i broke up with someone earlier this month and honestly i didn't want to.. I just didn't see any other options except maybe a nice little love triangle. maybe i'm just too selfish. i did always get that message on my work reviews, "does not play well with others".

I really don't mind sharing a love, as long as i knew i got a certain amount of time and we were totally honest and up front about everything. like i was with flynn. gosh, now thats an on line relationship, i sorely miss. i knew i would see him every Saturday night pretty much without fail. I played a mistress quite well, lol Although come to think of it, i pretty much hated that after a year too. lolol

I guess the whole thing makes me feel like a fool. after all, i'm not the only one that saw it. god, just because they are confused and don't want to say they are dating on line .. doesn't make it easier.. no it makes it harder. i know in my heart it's alot like when he broke up with his last gf. i was just a friend to him thats all. in fact i refused to kiss him or do any thing not approperiate, because in my mind, he was dating someone else, even though he was breaking up with her. He just seemed to need a freind to talk to. But this time, i didn't get that kind of nice, neat ending. i just got to witness him slip away, seeing me less and less, not wanting to do the same things any more, not even IMing me to just to say Hi! or maybe just get a g'night in IM.

then it just happened... I was trying to figure out what i felt like doing, i was taking care of ccr, and i was talking to him in IM and i was trying to get him to say " lets do this". i was trying to get him to start the rally with me. Finally i gave up, i thought he was at a race track racing like he always seemed to be doing. come to find out, omg, he was planning on starting the rally with "her", his new racing buddy. geesh.. so ok, now that bullshit with both them saying, "i don't do that", "i don't play that way" "no drama" is so much crap. just like her always saying, she can't understand why women didn't like her? afterall, she's married, she doesn't need a there bf. well, lots of ppl are married and having there bf's LOLOL me included. i don't need one either, but i had one, and i loved him in my own way. and then there was him, going on and on about how there was nothing between them because her hubbys in game soooo what was i supposed to think?

all of sudden the tables turn, they are the couple and i'm the outsider looking in.


* gosh i started this so long ago, and was never going to publish it.. sometimes things just happen, feelings evolve, where you think they shouldn't, but no sense denying yourself from truth, just try not to hurt ppl along the way. but sometimes it just can't be helped.

***
UPDATE: that guy and girl I mentioned in the end, wend on to divorce their respective spouses, marry each other and now have a child together. they are very happy in Real Life now!

MAB

For those that are in There.com, and perhaps read the offical forums or even the community blog, There4all, know that I was indeed appointed to MAB. I will be serving with some of my most repected piers. at least to me they are! i'm totally awe of some ppl picked. i really hope i don't look to much like an ass, and hope i can be strong and be heard and not be 'umm over riden by the enthesiusaism of other more domineiring ppl.

wish me luck!